Little Silver Birds. ~ The wifey

[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

All the people stuck behind deadbolts and steel plate
You’re shut off from the noise outside

[/i] him, she hurt him. It was all still a blur, he was yelling than she had started yelling then she had hit him …and he just left. Like that. Walked away – well ran away really but still. That was how it happened. She felt sick all over again, physically and mentally. Everything that was going well was now going bad, very bad. The press were all over her like a nasty rash, the one person who had stuck by her was now gone and she didn’t know what to do. She wanted a pill; she wanted this to go away by any means necessary. She wanted, no needed, sunshine in a vial, so she could place it in her veins and take all this away forever.

There was nothing more left to do than find a hit, find something that can help. Trembling, her hands were dug in to her jean pockets, not before she flipped the hood up of her dark green hoodie and started walking. Brodie was a mess really, withdrawal and stress didn’t mix very well, especially when you caused it all yourself.

Stumbling slightly she found herself stopping against a wall, just for the fact that she didn’t have the motivation to move any further, she placed her back against the wall, wrapping her arms around her stomach and closing her eyes. She thanked god she hadn’t had anything to eat because it would be coming back up again if she had. It felt like her blood was on fire, as if something inside it was crawling about, it itched and it hurt. She gasped sliding down the wall and crying out. It hurt, it hurt in every way possible.

Brodie needed a hit, she couldn’t cope anymore, she wasn’t strong enough to do this. It had caused so much pain, so much trouble it wasn’t worth it. Crying she sat there, shaking and in pain because she just couldn’t move.

She needed someone, anyone to come along at the right moment. Brodie wracked her brain trying to figure out where she could go. Pete was a no no after all that has transpired, he would never want to see her again. Everyone would hate her after they found out. There was no one that she could think of, no where she could run anymore. This was it, this was the end. Game Over. K.O. Last Life Gone. You name it.
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Because it's pointless
It's worthless
To deny that you are scared
All the fences, all the walls we build
Will never ever fall

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

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[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

Because it's pointless
It's worthless
To deny that you are scared

[/i] felt like. They all had it so easy. She hated the majority of the people here for that reason. They were all worrying about their paychecks and big houses.

Some people had real things to worry about. Like how the hell they were going to get their life back on track after so much of it had gone wrong. Brodie wanted the remote back, as if it was stuck down the arm chair of life and the fucking rewind button was broken. Fucking typical.

A touch on her shoulder, she knew who it was right away. Strange that she had such a bond with him. They hardly spoke the same language, yet there was that unspoken understanding between the two of them. Watery gray blue eyes looked up and she didn't say a word. Not a single one. Her expression said it all, pain, sadness, desperation and pleading for help. Even if she would deny it when it was offered.

She just let a crystalline tear drop down her cheek, streaking it and leaving behind a salty watery trail before it dropped on to the ground.

What could she say to him? She didn't know what she could say. Then she realized she didn't have to. That he already understood.
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All the fences, all the walls we build
Will never ever fall

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

[/i] that way.

He wanted to tell her that things would be alright. He knew she was strong. That while she screamed to be left alone she was also begging for someone to take care of her and love her and never leave her. How did he know? It was the him of now. His whole persona put people off when silently he was begging and pleading – for something he would never forget, never need to forget since it would never go away.

There was no way to word it though. Telling someone it would be alright wasn’t something that was meant to be done. It made you feel worse, like nothing really was going to be alright, like all anything could ever do was get worse. So all he could do for now was hold her and soothe her for as long as she required it.[/size]
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[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

I am in love
With the chance
That we all could do better than we do

[/i] to the Japanese boy, as if he were a life line - and he was. Brodie was scared, scared of herself and what she could do to herself if she was left with the right materials and a moment on her own...then she knew she could do something very stupid. Something she wouldn't regret at the moment but it would hurt everyone she ever met. Part of her told her the press would glamorize it, make her look an idiot and blow it up in to a big thing. When really all she wanted was to disappear from all memory. That would be the best thing that would even happen, that way the people she hurt would forget about her, forget about the hurt and the world would be like she had never entered it.

That would make it all right wouldn't it?

And yet she knew it wouldn't, it would never make any of this right and it wasn't the right way out. But. It was the easy way.

Fujii was different from other people, other friends. She didn't need to tell him when she was truly upset and in pain, she didn't need to ask for comfort. Japanese words spilled form his lips, she didn't understand them, she probably wouldn't remember them but it was the emotions behind them, their intentions.

Brodie knew she could never really ask for much. She never asked Pete to try and save her, to change her. She never asked him to follow her like a little lost puppy waiting to pick her up when she fell over. He had taken responsibility for her, and it was tearing him apart. She had hurt the one person who was refusing to give up on her, refusing to let her destroy herself.

She clung to him tighter and just cried. That was all she could do. Brodie at that moment in time didn't need anyone to stand there and lecturer her on how she was trying to kill herself slowly. She didn't need advice. She just needed someone to be there for her, a simple touch, a hug, a kind word. She needed to know it was alright - normal even - to have emotions and let them out instead of beating herself in to a hole every time she felt something akin to being human.

Her head against his chest she sobbed quietly, content in the fact he was going to let her cry on his shoulder. he hadn't given up, he didn't blame her - he didn't know, which was just as well. Most of the people she knew blamed her entirely for the mess she had gotten herself in to, they had no sympathy for her and rightly so, but at the same time, she just needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to her when she was angry or upset. Maybe....if she had someone who had just sat and listened to her years ago, someone who picked up the warning signs. She wouldn't be like this at all.
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The lonely and broken
The people forgotten
Did nobody tell you that your heart was wrong

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

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[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

Send me little silver birds,
To keep the promises you made.
One hundred thousand tiny lights,
For all who feel the same.

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[/i], something she had never felt before in her life. She didn't know why he was here now, or why he was here at all. It seemed all to goo and all too perfect for him to be here, when she needed someone, anyone. So why had Fujii been the one to take that roll. Brodie didn't understand why it was him. Then again when she thought about it there wasn't an answer to it. she had never believed in fate, or destiny. She didn't like the thought of having her life already planned out by some divine force - but maybe she would reconsider that view.

She didn't understand Japanese at all but it only took those few words he spoke to comfort her. She clung to him still, burying her head in to his chest. She just let it out more than thankful that she had someone to cry to, someone who would just let her cry, a shoulder to lean on. One that wouldn't lecture her or try and give her advice. She didn't need it. She didn't need people telling her how to solve her problems. All she needed was someone to just be there, to just listen. Thats all she wanted, even if she didn't ask it.

And Fujii, he did that...she didn't even need to ask. She didn't need to say a word he just did it. And that was what set him apart from all the others.

She looked up, still shaking and still crying...and he was crying. There was a sudden pain in her chest, like he had punched her. She had made him cry. She had hurt him....she had hurt him. Because you only cried when you got hurt. She reached up, wiping away the tear and shaking her head. "I'm sorry...please don't cry. I'm sorry I made you cry." And in that moment she sounded almost childish, like a little kid who had been shot down.

Why did she hurt everyone around her by just being her.

"I'm sorry...I made you cry. I'm sorry."
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And all the fences, all the walls we build
Will one day maybe fall

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

[/b]

It was true that she had induced that memory but it wasn’t her fault that those things had happened. It was part of his past and honestly he was best to remember his mistakes, so if anything were to ever make him fall to that again he would remember what it was like and what it did to him. It would save his life.

He had winced a little when she touched his face but said nothing and thought nothing of it – and begged for her not to ask about it either. It was something best not said to just anyone. He may have felt connected to the other but not enough so to start telling his past – that was for those who would listen and would care and wouldn’t disappear. He didn’t know if this girl would do any of the above and so he kept silent.

“We should get you… somewhere else.” His tears were put behind him as he shifted to pull the girl to her feet, smiling to her once again. She clearly didn’t want people to see her like this and so somewhere more private would be much better for her to cry if she still needed to.
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[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

I'm all washed up at twenty and it's all my fault
If love's an illness then I hope I get it

[/b] She apologized again, she had brought back bad memories, and they were something that should never be dug back up . She should know. Brodie did everything she could to ensure hers stayed where they were meant to be.

She let him help her up, standing up she felt so small. It was the way nature caught her, the way the wind played with hair and the sun caught her and in that moment she looked so vulnerable and small. Still holding his hands she was trembling. "Yeah...I think we should go somewhere else." She agreed.

There were no words to explain exactly how she felt in that moment. There was something oddly calming about crying, about just letting it all out and getting it over and done with. There was something comforting about it as well. And for once Brodie realized that maybe this was a better way to deal with everything, it was better than the alcohol and the drugs. It didn't hurt people and it didn't cause a world of trouble.

Was this a way to help. To let it out and deal with it rather than trying to bottle it up then running away.

((OOC; ugh so shit sorry.))
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I got it wrong, I got it wrong, I got it wrong
I spend the rest of my life trying to make it right

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

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[Brodie Dhonchaindh]

Somewhere there's a fight
We are fighting for something we lost

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[/i] medication, flipped out, Brodie had flipped out, smacked him one, he ran away, then Brodie nearly had a heart attack when she found him in the field with his pills. Though in retrospect she thought he wasn't the kind of person to would try something like that, but how did she know that at that moment. All she saw was him and pills and flipped out - and rightly so.

She looked at Fujii and smiled. "Yeah." She said with a slight nod and a ever so small half smile. "Thank you." She said quietly as she took his hand and began walking. "Do you want to see something..." She said with a smile. She had an idea. Since they were now technically a band - well two members of a band - she thought it was only right that they completed a good age old Tombstone tradition.

"I think we should have our own tombstone. Just ours." She suggested with a smile. After all she had carved her name off 2nd*Rs tombstone, it was only fair that she had one of her own, a new one, a new stone for a new life.

She smiled at him, attempting to pull him with her. "Just ours...?"
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Something that we find
Might save us or make things right

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[Satoru Fujiitaka]

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